Burnham-on-Crouch U3A  - March 2010 Meeting

 Peter Finch, the Secretary, welcomed the members, as the Chairman was indisposed.

    The speaker this month was Simon Gilbert whose talk was entitled 'Another opening, another show!' . Simon's musical career really began with getting a part in the chorus of  the musical Camelot for the princely sum of £25 per week. After that he spent a year singing with the 'Black and White Minstrels before joining the Scottish Opera. Here he was able to sing with the legendary Joan Sutherland and even spent time (a 'masterclass' as Simon described it) helping Luciano Pavarotti practise one of his famous duets. He then did a spell in pantomime before joining the cast of 'Showboat' with Cleo Laine. In the early seventies the film 'Man of La Mancha' with Peter O'Toole was released and although possessing a good voice it was decided that he did have the range to carry the songs and by a stroke of good fortune Simon was selected to dub the songs for him. For this he got an even more princely sum than in his chorus days - £350 for seven weeks work! Simon probably considered his finest hour (or week) to be when the leading man in 'Mame' injured himself, and, as understudy, Simon was able to play opposite another legend - Ginger Rogers. Although no longer 'treading the boards' Simon is now running his own production company supplying performers to the industry. As well as including plenty of anecdotes he sang four songs during his talk with a baritone voice still in pretty good shape.
Alan Brown gave, on behalf of those present, his thanks for a very entertaining sixty minutes, and, coincidentally, related that he had been present at one of Simon's 'Mame' performances!

    Peter Finch then went through the month's notices:
    He sadly had to report the death last weekend of a U3A member, Bernard Carpenter, who was the Chairman's brother-in-law. He will be greatly missed
    As a point of interest members should be aware that a Senior Rail Card could be purchased at a discount from Maldon District Council. Details of how to do this were on the noticeboard.
    Dee Ellershaw was arranging a trip to the Romford Dog Racing Track. Contact her for details
    Derek Sutton was organising an 'Explorers lunch' on the 12^th March at the 'Huntsman and Hounds'. Again, see him for details.
    Alan Dorrill's photographs of the Christmas party were available from Peter at teatime for those who had ordered them. All photos taken could be viewed on a laptop and further orders placed, again at teatime.
    Molly Mapes was congratulated on her TV appearance details of which could be seen in this month's Newsletter.

    Finally, the acting Chairman again reminded, as none had been received so far, members that nominations were needed for replacements for three Committee members: Vice-Chairman, Secretary, and Events Organiser. Nominations must be returned by the May meeting.

 

The meeting was then adjourned for tea.

 

The next meeting will be held at the Ramblers on 1^st April 2010. The speaker will be John Newmeir, the topic being 'A Paramedic and his unusual experiences'.

A man and his wife are having dinner at a very expensive restaurant when an absolutely drop dead gorgeous blonde comes over to their table , gives him a passionate kiss and says she'll see him later and sashays away .
' Who the hell was that ? ' demands the wife .
' My mistress ' he replies .
' Well I want a divorce ! ' she counters .
' Fine ' he says . ' But remember if we get divorced it means that there'll be no more expensive shopping trips to Paris and New York , no more winter breaks in the Caribbean , no more summers by the Mediterranean , no more Lexus or Shogun in the garage and no more membership of the Yacht Club . It's your decision '
Just then a mutual friend walks in with a beautiful young redhead on his arm .
' Who's that with Joe ? ' the wife asks .
' That's his mistress ' the husband replies .
' I think ours is much prettier ' says the wife .

A vampire bat comes home to roost with his face all covered in fresh blood . As he's hanging upside down from the roof , trying to sleep , the other bats can smell the blood and get all excited demanding to know where he found it . He tells them to leave him alone and let him get some sleep but they go on and on until he finally gives in to their pestering .
' OK ' he says , ' follow me ' and he flies out of the cave with hundreds of bats hot on his heels . He leads them through a valley , up and over a mountain range , across a lake and a river and finally into a dense forest .
As he finally slows down , the other bats are in a frenzy of anticipation about where he got all the blood .
' You see that large oak tree over there ? ' he asks
' Yes , yes , yes we do ' yelled the hundreds of bats .
' Well good for you because I b----y well didn't ! ' he says .
Beth Greaves